See me at my new Blogsite: www.CinemaXYZ.com

I have a new blog in the Orble system called CinemaXYZ.com.

Some the old blogs from here are being transferred and new ones are going up.

CinemaXYZ.com for all your B-movie (and TV) needs!

A MOVIE YOU SHOULD NEVER SEE!!!! (0.1 OUT OF 10)

BIG BAD WOLF (2006) 0.1 OF 10
Dir: Lance Dressen

(No pictures because I don't want to encourage anyone to waste time with this movie!)

THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SPENT MONEY ON! I rented this from Redbox and I still want my $1.06 back.

This writer/director Lance Dressen needs to get involved with a kind, gentle loving woman (or man, his choice) and really good therapist. This is the most sexually violent movie I have ever seen that did not come with an X rating and several warnings!

The story is this simple. There is this kid who steal his mom's key to his step-father's cabin. When they finally get there, a werewolf attacks them. First he kills this girl by ripping off her shirt and then slashing her throat. Then he rips the legs off of a guy. Then he goes into the cabin and rapes a virgin, rips her boyfriend's testicles off... ok, are you getting the idea!

I have no problem with the sexual nature of the werewolf myth, but the acting is terrible, the script sucks and the sexual violence (showing only breasts but with lots of [non graphic]shots of oral sex) is insipid and plain boring.

BTW, IMDBsays that this movie won "Best Sci-fi/Horror/Fantasy Film" at World Fest in HoustonIt had to have been the only entry because I have seen grade school plays better constructed than this piece of wolf scat.

The lead role of the bad step-dad/beast is played by Richard Tyson. You might remeber him as the bad dad in Kindergarten Cop, opposite Arnie. Obviously summerstock plays were not hiring because a guy who has been in film for 20+ years should never have taken this stupid role.

This is lowest rating I can give a movie. A 0.1 out of 10! Even The Godfather III wouldn't get this low a rating and I think that movie was a waste of celluloid. At least GF III is not a barometer of moral degradation, just a barometer of studio greed.

DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE, EVER!!!!

DEMENTIA 13 (1963) 4.5/10

DEMENTIA 13 (1963) 4.5 OUT OF 10

Dir: Francis Ford Coppola

Okay, we all know the name, Francis Ford Coppola. We all know that he is one of the most important directors of all time. Not many of us know the insanely humble beginnings that he started from.

This is one of Coppola's first films. And you can tell.

John Haloran comes from a wealthy family. When he has a heart attack on a late night boat ride with his bleach blonde wife, Louise (Luana Anders), she throws him overboard to hide the fact that he is dead.

The plot is weak and the acting isn't great, but there is a smattering of the genius Coppola would become even in the very first scene. When she throws his body over the side fo the row boat, she throws his radio, still playing terrible 60's pop into the water. The scene shows the dead Haloran floating downward and the radio following, some bad Elvis knock-off still singing in a water logged voice. The scene is ingenious an effective.

Coppola had an uncredited directing role in a Roger Corman film the same year. You can feel it in the campy way that the scenes play out, but Coppola can be seen to outdo most of Corman's work right from the start.

See this movie for FREE at moviesfoundonline.com. It is not terrible, just not good.

An American Haunting (2005) 5.5/10

An American Haunting (2005) 5.5 out of 10
Dir: Courtney Solomon

This is a thinking man's horror movie. It purports to be the only American haunting that resulted in the death of a man.

Donald Sutherland (watch for the upcoming review of Invasion of Body Snatchers) plays John Bell who lived in 1817. The story winds through a letter written by Lucy Bell, his wife (played by Sissy Spacek [watch for the upcoming review of Katherine]). After an altercation at the local magistrates over a piece of land, Bell became convinced that he and his family had been cursed by his neighbor, Kathe Batts (played by Gaye Brown). His daughter is abused, beaten and raped repeatedly by the spirit. Eventually, Bell talks to Ms. Batts and she tells him that he never cursed them and his problems are his own. Eventually, he dies by having his daughter feed him poison, while his wife watches and does nothing.

The story opens with one of John Bell's ancestors reading this letter. Her daughter is suffering from nightmares. I won't tell you what the connection is but let me say this...

The American movie-going public that would actually go see a movie starring Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek are not stupid. Spare me the overt references from today to yesterday. The scenes of the haunting are well done and the Bell's daughter (played by Rachel Hurd-Wood) were memorably well done.

I only wish that directors would leave me wondering if I am right. Don't close the movie with all of the loose ends tied up and everything easily explained. I want to wonder. Even Nightmare on Elm Street left some questions for me, like how was Freddy created.

The acting is good and the core plot is excellent. The tie to modern times is too in-my-face to not be annoying. I am hoping that Ms. Solomon will make more movies with a little less overt content.

I saw this on Fearnet.com and so can you!

God Bless the World

I normally don't blog about current events, but today, I am compelled to cheer.

Regardless of your political point of view, I would encourage all of you to see today for what it really is: Today is a chance to begin again. We have had years now of expensive loss and failure.Today, we as Americans and as Citizens of the World, MUST band together and make our world a better place for ourselves, our children and the next seven generations.

God bless you and God bless all of the Citizens of the World.

Wishmaster (1997) 5.5/10

Wishmaster (1997) 5.5 out of 10

Dir.: Robert Kurtzman

This is another Fearnet.com presentation.

The story is pretty basic. After the angels were made and before man, there was a race of beings, the Djinn, who are pure evil.

After an accident on a dock, in a scene starring Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger), the jewel containing one of the Djinn is revealed.

The rest is history.

The good stuff: The mythology behind the story has a lot of potential. There is enough depth for it to be a Hellraiser kind of back story. There is potential interplay between angels, djinn, humans, and maybe even God. The special effects death scenes are pretty top notch and creative.

The bad stuff: The Djinn is used just a means to kill and destroy. The strong back story is wasted in a stereo-typical blood bath. At the end of the movie, the Djinn even starts swearing. He even took up smoking (something every demon would waste time with).

I give this movie a 5.5 because the special effects are good and this great backstory that inspires the imagination. It would be higher except that it is waste in splashes of corn syrup and cheesy bad guy one liners. What would cool for this movie would have been to not try to create another Nightmare on Elm Street (which is among my favorite horror movies) and create another Exorcist (which is the greatest and had a great back story that is still playing itself out, despite a couple of really crappy films).

SUPERNOVA (2005) 4.0/10 TV MOVIE

SUPERNOVA (2005) 4.0 OUT OF 10 - TV movie

This movie is a Hallmark Channel original, which, I have to admit, made me pause to hit the start button on my on-demand system. I don't entirely regret it, bit this movie has two raging flaws:

1) It's too long. It's too long for me and I saw it without commercials.

2) There is a ridiculously unnecessary sub-plot about Luke Perry's wife and the guy who raped her years before.

Here's the basic story - the sun is erupting with dangerous and destructive solar flairs. This causes satellites to go out, communications around the world to fail and people to riot, because people are stupid and they react with violence whenever they are afraid. A famous scientist, played by the legendary Peter Fonda, has concluded that the sun is older than we had previously though and that the sun is going to supernova. Everybody freaks and the government, represented by Lance Henricksen, reveals an undergraound survival plat that they have. Luke Perry plays a brilliant young scientist who's numbers wre used for Fonda's conclusions. His wife, played by Jessica Brooks, struggles with her personal security after she was attacked and raped in her home (that's the ridiculous plot). Tia Carrere, who was the ultimate hottie in Wayne's World, plays a US government agent. She's still beautiful and presumably hot, but they dressed in pants suits that even Hillary Clinton wouldn't wear.

The good stuff: The acting is good and the special effects are not bad for a made for TV movie.

The bad stuff: This stupid sub-plot that actually ends the movie. Oh, and Tia Carrere's wardrobe. Fire the wordrobe person. A beautiful woman does not need to be made frumpy in order to be respectable.

I'm giving it a 4 only because of this sub-plot. It is better than most if not all of the Sci-fi Channel's orginal movies, so take that for a benchmark. This is also the first time I have ever watched a Hallmark Channel movie (don't they make greeting cards?).

Talk to you soon.